After 4 months in the Philippines this is what I know

The Philippines is no place for vegetarians.

Pork, chicken, pork, chicken, beef, fish, pork, chicken...you get the idea. Even when taking the time to try out a restaurant called Happy Veggie in Chinatown (Binondo), I was astounded to discover that I was their only customer. The vegetarian fare was absolutely top notch but don't try and get the locals to eat there. If its not fried, grilled and 'previously' had a heart beat, they don't want to know. 

A smile always gets a smile in return  

For a genetically gruff person, I discovered grin lines starting to apear on my face? What is this weird phenomenon that had me smiling like a kid in a candy store? Well that would be the infectious Filipino personality, even the hardest b*stards couldn't maintain their staunch looks once you flash the perly whites at them. 

                   

Traffic lanes are but mere decoration

The lanes are painted on the roads for sure, but the idea seems to be to get your vehicle to straddle them. Any available piece of asphalt is fair game and riding the horn is an essential driving technique. With so many cars jostling for precious little blacktop, it is simply amazing that crashes don't occur more often.

Good beer can be found 

You could be forgiven for thinking that San Miguel is the religion here, and while it is cheap, cold and has a fizzy appearance that suggests beer...it's not long before its time to find the real thing. Fortunately there are options once you know where to look and have a GPS equipped smart phone. 

Some boys make very convincing ladies

One of the great contradictions of The Philippines is the servitude that the masses pay to the Catholic Church and the omnipresence of ladyboys. With an acceptance that seems to run contrary to the conservative Christian mores that the masses live and die by, the colourful presence of highly vamped boys strutting their stuff is fantastic. 

There is poverty in a scale that the privileged few in power should be embarrassed about, but aren't

With the recent Oxfam report that the richest 85 people hold wealth equivalent to the poorest half of the world, its not hard to imagine once you have journeyed from one side of Manila to another. From the gated communities and Lamborghini dealerships to the appalling sight of people riffling through putrid garbage, the disparity between the few the have and the masses the don't, is all too apparent. 

Tattoos really 'do' open doors here  

I once stated that New Zealand was the most tattooed nation on earth per-capita. Where  this information came from I really don't know? Perhaps it was said to me once and with no way to quantify it, I blindly spouted it out when extolling the virtues of our tattoo heritage. However, after visiting the Philippines I think I may need to revise things a little. Inked skin is everywhere and the best thing is, if you are in the club show off some art, it certainly helps when making friends. 

Balut is not nearly as bad as you think 

O.k, so eating developing duck embryo does not sound all that appetising but how bad is it? Even with local men telling me that it is good for your sex life (not that they need it with the population spiralling out of control) I was more concerned about how to stare down the feathers and beak. Fortunately, there are various 'ages' of Balut and after enquiring about getting a 12-day old sample where the more advanced features of the duck 'aren't' present, I agreed to give it a go. 

After knocking the end off the shell, the ritual involves drinking the broth around the embryo which I will admit tastes like a salty soup with quite an unusual flavour, but its not unpleasant.  

Then comes the fun part, peeling back the shell I noticed what looked like nearly developed organs...but this was 12 day old Balut right? Too excited to finally be conquering this task I threw the contents of the egg back and without a beer to wash it down (that was stupid) I started to chew, and chew...and chew. After what seemed like an eternity I eventually cleared my mouth and was congratulated by all in attendance. 

Apparently there were no 12 day old eggs available so without telling me, my accomplices gave me a fully developed Balut complete with bones, beak and feathers. I'm just thankful I didn't study it too intently in the shell before I necked it. 

Would I do it again? Yes, but there would have to be beer, salt and chilli. 

Filipinos are the most resilient people I have ever met 

Having been colonised by the Spanish, Japanese and Americans (twice), Filipinos are a wonderfully accepting and forgiving people. What with the horrendous treatment meted out by the hands of their oppressors and life lived in the constant threat of natural disasters, these people have no time for being depressed. Hard work, strong family bonds and a never give up attitude drive the country forward. Pushing through the 100 million population barrier, the country has untold challenges not least of which is how to feed and house all these people. But from cramped fetid quarters that we westerners would find intolerable,  Filipinos use ingenuity, cunning and guile to craft a life full of dignity and pride.

The Top Ten Things I Like About Working in the Philippines

The Top Ten Things I Like About Working in the Philippines (so far): 

Two months ago I arrived in Manila to start work as an editor on a show for Al Jazeera. As an observational documentary spread over six one-hour episodes about the lives of people living in the slums, the subject material is fascinating. 

But, as that story is still evolving I'll leave those details to another post.  No, this post is a simple observation about the 10 coolest things I have discovered (this far) about working in a mega city beset with tropical storms, rampant religion and jeepneys. 

As I had already started to list some of my favourite things when Typhon Yolanda slammed into Leyte and Samar, I decided to hold off what is essentially a flippant commentary when the country is in such turmoil. Nothing much has changed on that front, chatting to a U.S. guy based at the embassy yesterday, he told me about the huge logistical issues facing the relief effort. 

So for anyone wondering what to do for gifts this Christmas time, how about shelling out a few pesos for the survivors who are really doing it tough right now. Having personally witnessed the Philippines Red Cross shifting a mountain of relief goods, they are a great place to start: 

http://www.redcross.org.ph/

So, in no particular order: 

10. My Filipino work boots  

No health and safety issues here, these stock standard jandals emblazoned with music iconography are seeing some serious milage. From casual jaunts to the lounge for cocktails to full on cross city missions, these bad boys have no limits.

9: No Nanny State

Speaking of health and safety, there's no need to worry about finding foods containing the heart association seal of approval, if its not deep fried, crumbed or dripping in some sugary concoction, the Filipinos don't want anything to do with it. Fair play.

8. Interesting marketing strategies

While we are on the subject of health, when was the last time a pack of gaspers cost the same as a bottle of water and were sold alongside eggs.

7. Safe shopping malls 

Lets face hit, packing heat when you're off for a bit of retail therapy ain't cool, and as shopping malls are pretty much the number one national pastime (aside from shoes and basketball) its great to think that they give you a box to leave your glock in.

6. Tattoos

We like to think that in New Zealand we are the most heavily tattooed nation on a per capita basis. Well, Filipinos might argue otherwise. From the primitive prison ink styles (pictured above) to some elaborate  realism, there is some seriously well inked people here and some very talented practitioners of the art.

5. Beer in jars

Interestingly, going out for a few jars, is just that. So the extra strong Red Horse might not be the greatest combination of malt (and very few hops) on the planet, but at $2 for a 6.7 % beer in the 500ml bottle, who's splitting hairs. Plus, if I want an exquisite Belgium brew, my local supermarket has quite a selection.

4. Rats that scare cats

I'm no fan of these furry little pests, but you have to admire the Philippine rat. Not only have they managed to thrive and grow to extraordinary sizes while the local dogs and cats are incredibly malnourished,  they have absolutely no fear of people. 

3. No ambiguity

Whilst on a drive looking for a good place to grab a beverage, I was left in no doubt what the neon-lit building across the road was. If I needed a mall, I would be heading there. 

2. The Filipino Smile

Its pretty infectious and these kids are pretty much as poor as it gets. Given the dire circumstances that some of the people that we are meeting experience, you wouldn't begrudge them for walking around with a permanent scowl. Not the Filipino. Super resilient and in possession of a quirky send of humour, a smile given will always get one back. Hey, I'm seldom known to smile myself, but its hard not too here. 

1. The Pan Pacific Lounge

This photo is special for a number of reasons. It features two of the very friendly and skilled Pan Pacific staff who daily greet me with a chilled glass of chardonnay followed by a cocktail or three. It also shows the bar where complimentary beverages are mixed for 2 hours every day...yes that's right, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m we get to sit in a wonderful lounge overlooking the night time lights of manila, sipping on any cocktail we can think of while dining on a buffet on delicious pre dinner snacks. After a gruelling day editing in my hotel room or battling the touts on the street outside who are convinced that even after two months here I still need Viagra, a Rolex and a pretty girl, the lounge bar is the sort of place that if you were given a free pass to it once you would be stoked...let alone to have it available for the 122 nights I am staying in the hotel. Never once do the staff looked bored to see you, in fact the opposite, they treat every evening like its a special occasion...which it is. Cheers. 

Dutdutan

Well, its been a while since this blog had any sign of activity, and to be honest who really has time to commit to a blog anyway.

However, its still a great format to jot doen musings, collate photos and video and generally speculate on the world around...irrespective of whether anyone actually wants to read.

So, without any further pontificating, here is a video I comped together while working in Manila.

Dutdutan

Film Title: Chinese Takeaway

Directed By: Sebastián Borensztein

Cast: Ricardo Darin, Muriel Santa Ana, Ignacio Huang, Enric Cambray, Ivan Romanelli.

Rating: M

Every now and then, a film emerges with a synopsis that doesn’t sound very engaging, and then slowly proceeds to blow any preconceived ideas away. Chinese Takeaway is one such specimen. The easiest way to describe this curious Argentinian film is to liken it a Kurt Vonnegut novel, filtered through the lens of globalisation, and fronted by Paul Giamatti’s Latin cousin. Ricardo Darin (The Secrets In Their Eyes) is Roberto, possibly the finest screen shopkeeper since Albert Arkwright hung up his apron. Harnessing all of Basil Faulty’s customer service acumen, and some, Roberto skulks about Buenos Aeries haunted by the ghosts of his parents and trapped in the rigidness of his self imposed routines. Far too set in his miserly existence to even register the amorous advances of Mari (Muriel Santa Ana), an admirer, Roberto’s miserly existence is unexpectedly shaken-up when he witnesses a young Chinese man being turfed out of a taxi. Possessing not a word of Spanish, Jun (Ignacio Huang) has only the clothes on his back and a tattooed street address on his forearm. Now, if you had to pick a Good Samaritan, its fair bet that Roberto wouldn’t be an obvious choice. Jun unfortunately doesn’t have options, so he tags along with the curmudgeonly loner in the hope that they can track down his uncle. What ensues is a delightful exchange of culture and humanity. Spliced together with plenty of refreshing non-pc anecdotes from Roberto, Chinese Takeaway beautifully captures Roberto’s angst as he struggles through his Kafkaesque nightmare. Chinese Takeaway is slightly batty, always amusing, and one of the most rewarding wee films to be released this year. It’s definitely one to be savored.

Best Thing: Ricardo Darin’s deadpan brilliance.

Worst Thing: Not understanding Jun’s manic mutterings (unless of course, you speak Mandarin).

See it with: Peking duck

Rating: 4 Stars

Dunedin Chinese Garden

Potiche

Film Title: Potiche (Trophy Wife)

Directed By:François Ozon

Cast: Catherine Deneuve, Gérard Depardieu, Fabrice Luchini, Karin Viard, Judith Godrèche, Jérémie Renier

Set in the late 70s, with a hyper-realised palette of Farrah Fawcett hair-dos and loud cardigans, Potiche’s raison d'être is a distinct moment of French civil unrest. At the crux of the story, is a subjugated housewife who unwittingly realises that her true calling is to lead her local community.

Far-fetched, you bet, but from the opening frames where every cheesy 70s-editing tool is employed, Potiche never bothers to have a bet each way. The main drawcard is Catherine Deneuve as Suzanne, the ‘trophy housewife’. Made up to look every bit her 69 years and some, Deneuve proves that there is more to her repertoire than that of a slightly mysterious sex symbol.

Holed up in an ostentatious mansion, Suzanne is bored to tears, but she just doesn’t know it, yet. Totally subjugated by her megalomaniac husband Robert, and sidelined as a relic by her bossy daughter Joëlle (Judith Godrèche), Suzanne wakes from her slumber when thrust into the frontline, confronting striking workers at the family umbrella factory.

Que a slightly surreal set of circumstances where Suzanne renews an old friendship with the socialist Mayor, Maurice Babin (Gérard Depardieu), and skeletons start tumbling out of the closet. Deneuve hits every comic note with deadpan mischievousness and with Depardieu playing the perfect foil; Potiche is a curious delight.

It’s pretty transparent where director François Ozon is heading, but that doesn’t stop him having some fun with red herrings along the way. Echoing themes consistent with contemporary French governance under Nicolas Sarkozy, Potiche is a very amusing and superficial dissection of class politics that most viewers will identify with. Great performances, awesome clothes and a visual style that borrows from the whimsical end of The French New Wave; Potiche is one of the better French farces released in the last decade.

Best Thing: Catherine Deneuve’s cheeky persona.

Worst Thing: The caricatures of the French working class.

See it with: A hand knitted cardigan and spray on bell-bottoms.

Rating: 4 Stars

Reviewed By: Mark Orton

The Good, the Bad and the plain Ugly

Fortunately in 2009, there was such a feast of great cinema, that side-stepping any real cinematic crime was relatively easy. So, when reflecting on the hot and the not, choosing just six favourites was not easy. Sure to ignite considerable debate, especially the omission of District 9 (still haven't seen it); here are the best reasons to get to the DVD shop over the holiday period (in no particular order):

The Good:

In the Loop

Having now seen In the Thick of It, which set the template for In the Loop, I have to applaud Armando Iannucci for his skill in maintaining the same manic humour on the cinematic stage. Iannucci has done for political spin doctors and newspaper hounds what Ricky Gervais did for Slough paper merchants. With a cast of neurotic careerist politicians skulking beneath the cloud of Alistair Campbell parody Malcolm Tucker, In the Loop keeps two cameras moving in clever docu-drama fashion. Using the not-so fictional war (Iraq) as the context that pits a British backbencher amidst the might of Washington's war committee, In the Loop takes out the award in 2009 for the most cutting dialogue and clever use of profanity.

The Wrestler

The thing with The Wrestler is, you know how things are going to end after the first 5 minutes, but that doesn't make it any less compelling. Mickey Rourke is amazing for sure, but director Darren Aronofsky has yet to put in bad day at the office. The Wrestler proves what a great eye Aronofsky has for nuance, taking the camera into the dark recesses of professional wrestling to emerge with a portrait that seems so damn genuine it could be lifted from a Maysles Brothers' film. Composed of superbly layered moments of raw sentiment, The Wrestler's context might not be everyone's cup of tea, but that aside, as a parable about screwing-up, redemption and screwing-up again...its flawless.

The Unknown Woman

I'm willing to wager that this wee Italian flick passed through town without raising an eyebrow...what a shame. Directed by Giuseppe Tornatore, more widely known for the twee Cinema Paradiso; The Unknown Woman is a top shelf thriller, with a distinctly noir aesthetic. Delving into the seedy underbelly of human slavery, The Unknown Woman cops more than a few tricks from the likes of Hitchcock and Cronenburg without feeling in any way derivative. All is never what it seems, and as the visceral flashbacks start to tally up, you'll be kicking yourself for not seeing the sadistic twists earlier. Unforgettable and criminally underrated.

In Search of the Midnight Kiss

Seldom do films come along that are as unpretentious and charming as In the Search of a Midnight Kiss. Shot entirely in colour and then de-saturated, the premise is relatively simple. A single bloke with more than a few hang-ups and some pestering housemates reluctantly agrees to meet an Internet date on New Year's Eve. What happens next is a roller-coaster ride of romance and musings on the state of metropolitan singles. The two phenomenally well-crafted characters take you on a tour of Los Angeles seldom profiled in tourist brochures. Director Alex Holdridge walks the tricky line between keeping solid story beats ticking along, and pausing to allow the film space to breathe. It's funny, bittersweet and unforgettable. Badger your local DVD store to get a copy of this, hard to find but well worth the effort.

Gran Torino

It's still a tad mystifying how Gran Torino didn't get nominated for an academy award? It's probably got everything to do with the raw racial caricatures, blunt but effective. Though, Gran Torino succeeds where any numbers of issues based films get lost in their own self-righteousness. Clint Eastwood doesn't spend a lot of time in front of the lens these days, so when he does expose his grizzled mug, it's for a good reason. On paper, Gran Torino doesn't sound any more appealing than watching a try-less rugby game. In reality, it's anything but. Part John Wayne, Charlton Heston and Dirty Harry, Eastwood's 'Walt Kowalski' is the perfect amalgam of the totally repulsive and incredibly amusing.

Gomorra

Overlooked for best foreign film in favour of the also brilliant 'Departures', Gomorra gets my vote purely for the fact that it takes a well-worn subject, and puts the boot in. Gomorra hits hard from the get go, and never lets up. Vignettes of Italian gang-fuelled terror and corruption are left as stand-alone pieces of a puzzle; slabs of seedy criminality cloaked in creeping dread. Dropping the audience deep behind the walls of Napoli's seedy tenements, every skulking gangster move is chronicled via some of most creative use of handheld camera outside the documentary genre. With so much information packed into each frame, repeated viewings are almost mandatory

The Bad:

When it comes to cinematic crime these days, the absence of original screenplays is particularly noticeable. The following three films all take a lot of artistic licence with historical episodes, and will be quickly forgotten because of it.

Valkyrie

Singling out a German tale told by Brits is no coincidence. Live of Others for instance, proves how good German stories can be when tackled by their own industry. Valkyrie's problems cannot be isolated to Tom Cruise's plank-like persona or Bill Nighy's mincing either. The tepid dissection of an assignation plot to kill Hitler has docu-drama potential, but apart from a hectic opening five minutes when the special effects budget takes a hiding, Valkyrie adds nothing to the brief synopsis on the publicity flyer.

Bride Flight

The Dutch aren't recognised for their films, and if Bride Flight is anything to go by, it's for good reason, Filmed almost entirely on location in New Zealand, Bride Flight plays fast and loose with local geography and historical accuracy. Supposedly based on an actual 1953 air race from London in Christchurch, and the divergent New Zealand lives lead by three young Dutch immigrants, Bride Flight amounts to not much more than a hot potch of half-baked story threads and costume changes.

Bottle Shock

The biggest crime of all though, is Bottle Shock. With possibly the best historical template to work from, writer-director Randall Miller has made an absolute pigs ear of it. Getting Sideways confused with The Dukes of Hazard, it hardly comes as a surprise to discover that Steven Spurrier, whom the film was based on, wanted nothing to do with it. Apart from Alan Rickman's consistent class, Bottle Shock packages a fine Californian Chardonnay, in a garish cardboard cast.

The Ugly:

Antichrist

104 minutes inside Lars Von Trier's subconscious is about 100 minutes too many. On pure aesthetic value, Antichrist looks amazing. But, it's so painfully self-indulgent, I doubt even the most hardened Von Trier fans could stick with it. Misogyny aside, which is the source of most of the vitriol directed at Antichrist, the film simply elevates shock over story…much to its detriment. Willem Defoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg tackle the directionless script with admirable gusto, but even they must have been wondering what the hell was going on.